I Proofread 3% of this Blog Entry
Have you ever noticed that most of the "Pancake and Waffle Syrup" bottles you see in the supermarket have labels that say "Pancake and Waffle Syrup?"Ironic, huh?
Seriously, though, what I'm talking about is that they usually don't say "Maple Syrup." Of course not. There often isn't a trace of maple syrup in them. It's maple-flavored syrup—and probably made of synthetic maple-like chemicals, too (although I can't confirm, as I've never noticed).
Well, you know, I'm no pretentious gourmet, so a little imitation maple syrup is fine with me, especially if the real thing would be costlier. Besides, I don't eat pancakes and/or waffles all that often, so I really don't care.
However, I think that the general understanding is that real maple syrup would be considered ideal, and anything else would be not as good, not as ideal.
Well, that bring me to my point. I noticed this weekend that my syrup bottle says something to the effect, "Now with 3% maple syrup!"
3 percent? Why even open your mouth? Of course, some is better than none, but 3 percent? This is basically a variant of the McDonald's-is-my-job-of-choice concept discussed in a recent blog. If you're going to advertise that your syrup product, which is essentially imitation maple syrup, is "3 percent" the real-deal, why even call attention to it? I'd rather say nothing and hope that no one notices and assumes it's more than a paltry 3 percent.
Just seems quirky to me.
You know what I'd do to try to get the best of both worlds? I might just say, "Now with real maple syrup." You call attention to the touch of authenticity, without quantifying it and tipping your hand to the fact that it's just barely the real thing.
Maybe that's illegal. But, then again, if my beloved Count Chocula can boast that it is now made "with whole grain" without quantifying, then I imagine it's doable. 'Cause, you know...all those tasty General Mills cereals seem overwhelmingly white grain all the way.
posted by Steve @ 4:57 PM
2 Comments:
While working in the last Cygnus building, I was perusing the various snacks in the cafateria, and came across a line of assorted mixed fruits and nuts. On every bag I picked up the words "May contain peanuts" were printed in small letters under the name of the item packaged. This was fine for the assorted mixes, to warn people with life-threatening peanut allergies. But I had to laugh when I looked at the bag of peanuts. It read,
Unshelled Peanuts
may contain peanuts
"Oh really! Thanks for warning me man... I almost just unwittingly died eating these peanuts made of actual peanuts!"
I know they must use that standard label template for all their products, but c'mon..... couldn't they have just made an exception and removed the warning on the actual product they were warning us about??
So I bought them. Just because it made me laugh. And because I do not have a peanut allergy.
[[[[ Unshelled Peanuts
may contain peanuts ]]]]
What I like about that warning is that if you are saying it "may contain peanuts," you are also, inadvertently, saying it may also NOT contain peanuts. It MAY contain them. Therefore, it may also not contain them.
The thought of a bag of peanuts that doesn't contain any is like a tree falling in the forest when no one is around or something... It messes with the mind.
It's like the decorative sign in my mother's bathroom that says, "Cats are people, too." The more you think about it, the more your brain is uncomfortable with it.
A lot of people probably won't "get" what I am saying. But I think if anyone will understand, it would be Paul.
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