No More Static Cling...Okay. (Dry my pants now.)
This morning at 4:30 a.m., I was down in the basement I wrote about in a recent blog entry. I was doing laundry.I could answer the obvious question that some people will doubtlessly have ("Why were up and doing laundry, of all things, at 4:30 am?"), but that's not where the story is here. It's more fun to analyze the things that go through your head at that hour, when you're in the basement doing laundry. And, as I was grabbing a sock off the top of the dryer, I started thinking about static cling. Well, not even about static cling itself, but about the old commercials that I remember from back in the 1980s where dryer products used to explain the virtues of their wares, at least in part, by explaining that they eliminate static cling.
Do you remember these commercials? They always used to use a pair of sock to demonstrate their point. They dangle two socks and "swing" one against the other to illustrate that they don't stick together. No more laundry clinging together, especially your socks!
Well, this got me thinking. Was this really such a big deal? The whole static cling thing. Is this really "up there" with poverty, homelessness, the decline of the morality of western civilization? It's obviously not, but beyond that, does it really matter at all? Consider...
You may get a few sticky socks. You may get some noises and tactile sensations that are comparable to when you eat Pop-Rocks. And if you happen to do your laundry at 4:30 a.m. and don't turn your lights on, you may even see a couple of low grade sparks in the air. My adored long-haired kitty gets them, too, when I pet him in the dry, dry depths of winter. But those are low-level issues. You pull apart the socks, enjoy the static show, and then you're usually OK, ready to enjoy your socks.
Also, it's not like your clothes are still static-y a week later when you go to wear them.
"Let me just hike up my pants here...WHOA!! I got a shock!!"
I'd say that just worrying that your dryer dries is the bigger problem. I know I'm not the only one who pulled those heavy jeans out too early and folded them when they were ever-so-slighty damp. That's a problem that sometimes lingers in the drawer.
As an aside, when I was a kid, I used to have to do my own laundry because my father would get angry with me that I'd let it pile up in a heap 10 feet in diameter and then bring it all downstairs at once. So, I had to do my own laundry, and I was routinely doing so only when I ran out of clothes. Hence, it was common that I'd have to be somewhere before those big heavy jeans were dry and ready to go and I'd have to wear them because they were the only clean pair. So I'd slide them on—a little cold, a little sticky—and let them dry over the course of the day. It wasn't the best feeling in the world, but it was better than doing laundry proactively. One time I had to go for a physical when the Levi's weren't quite done, and when my mother brought me over to the the doctor, he noticed something awry.
"Are your pants...?" he started asking.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, they're, um...a little damp still," I admited. "They weren't quite dry when I pulled them from the dryer," I explained, hoping that he'd understand and say he's been there, too. Instead—and I'll always remember this quote word for word—he said:
"Well....That's a good way to get sick."
I just kind of giggled nervously, but I was thinking, "Thanks for the condescension there, Doc! I'm doing OK, so can you not worry about this, please?"
Well, I digress... and bring us back home to static cling. I've been victim to it plenty, but it's not such a problem now, isn't it? I guess if I were washing super nice dress clothes, I'd care more. But don't you get that stuff dry cleaned, anyway?
I don't know. I truly don't have answers. I know I may be overlooking a big problem, but that's because, admittedly, I'm a low-maintenance launderer. If I'm busy, I might not even sort colors. Colors, whites—just wash 'em cold!
posted by Steve @ 12:48 PM
3 Comments:
You have never had to wear a skirt that wouldn't stay down where it is supposed to, I take it. In that situation, a dryer that eliminates static clean saves you from quite a bit of embarrasment and frustration. Especially if it is a short skirt. That is probably why those old commercials were really aimed more at women than men. Sticky socks are nothing more than a moment's frustration, and for most men that is the extent of the static-clean problem. But women, for the most part, have clothing that, when it rides up or sticks to itself, is far more of an issue.
Just my two cents. :-)
And as an aside, you are making me register to post comments?!? Argh. I guess now that I have one, I might as well post in it. This was just some nefarious attempt to get me to blog, wasn't it?
[[[[[ You have never had to wear a skirt that wouldn't stay down where it is supposed to, I take it. ]]]]
You take it correctly! All my skirts have been immune to that problem.
[[[[[ In that situation, a dryer that eliminates static clean saves you from quite a bit of embarrasment and frustration. Especially if it is a short skirt. ]]]]]]
See, I KNEW there was more to this. That's why I said at the end that I truly have no answers. Only thoughts that cross my mind in the wee hours of the morning. Does it really continue to "ride up" even after you shake it out and such? I guess if it is a thin sort of fabric.
[[[[[ And as an aside, you are making me register to post comments?!? Argh. ]]]]]
Me? Is that a setting that I did? Is that the "does not allow anonymous comments" bit? I mean, I could start allowing anonymous comments if that would fix things.
[[[[[[ I guess now that I have one, I might as well post in it. This was just some nefarious attempt to get me to blog, wasn't it? ]]]]]
No, but did it work? See that's the good thing about having your very own blogger ID. It's free, and once you have it, you can go crazy blogging away with that one name. Here, at Coffee Crew, at Paulonoma. Hell, you can even saunter on over to "Better Off Red" and let Holly know what you think of Rick Springfield.
[[See, I KNEW there was more to this. That's why I said at the end that I truly have no answers. Only thoughts that cross my mind in the wee hours of the morning. Does it really continue to "ride up" even after you shake it out and such? I guess if it is a thin sort of fabric.]]
Believe it or not, they really do continue to ride up. The fabric just sticks to itself, and there is no keeping it down.
[[Me? Is that a setting that I did? Is that the "does not allow anonymous comments" bit? I mean, I could start allowing anonymous comments if that would fix things.]]
Yup, that is what that setting does. And yes, it did work. I am now the proud owner of a new blog. All those random meanderings my thoughts take can now be faithfully recorded to traumatize the rest of the world. Mwa ha ha.
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