Numeric Age and Pressures — Part II
I want to continue the last thread here and take it in a new direction. Everything in the last blog entry sort of set the table for some of the things I want to talk about in this blog entry.So, these "age sensitive pressures" seem to be based on our expectation of what those age numbers means. So, what do they mean?
I thought turning 30 was an interesting phenomenon because I found that number to be "objectively adult-like." This was in opposition to my sense that all the years in the 20s were merely "subjectively adult-like."
OK, I'd better explain all of this drivel.
20-somethings seem mostly pre-occupied with getting their lives off the ground and growing into adulthood. Now, I always felt like being in my 20s meant I was pretty much at an age where I should be a fully independent adult, and I strived for that and succeeded in some respects. However, in some areas, I felt like I was working with a few setbacks in the plan. For instance, my wife and I briefly lived in my folks house for a little over a year when I was 24, 25. But I felt like that was not very cool or "age appropriate" at the time.
However, I knew a lot of people in their 20s in the 1990s who were perfectly content with that set-up, because at 24 or 25, they still felt "kid like" enough that it was acceptable to be the proverbial "recent college graduate," stuck somewhere in-between childhood and adulthood.
So, what are 20-somethings? Rookie-adults or veteran-kids? I think if you look at sheer numbers, both sides of the coin are well represented. They all work jobs, but outside of that, you're as likely to find a "sophisticated, older kid" as you are to find a married person with kids of
his or her own. So the societal cues for normalacy are blurred and it really is largely subjective as to how you define being in your 20s.
So, on the subject of entry into full-blown adulthood, when is it? 21? 25? 28? Everyone has a different, subjective opinion.
However, consider 30. That sounds much more "objectively" adult. Doesn't it? If you're living with your parents in your 20s, that might make sense, right? But if your living at home in you 30s, that seems stranger. Even stranger than at age 29. If I said, "He's a 30-year-old man," no one thinks, "Well, he's just a kid. He's kind of getting started in the world."
So, as much as all of this stuff is subjective, 30 seems objectively adult-like.
Now, here's the weird thing about it all. I have never felt particularly young. Since the time I was about 17, I have been told, I've seemed "old for my age," which some think is compliment and others think an insult. And I certainly don't feel "young and cool." Still, even with all that, I still can be blown away when I take inventory. I am carrying a pretty heavy load of "adult": 34 (almost), married, family, house, and a tool shed filled to capacity with lawn care equipment. We turn around one day and we have become our parents, in some respects. And yet, you still carry the same soul as you did when you were a kid—your first experience, mind you—and
things change so gradually that you never see yourself cross that line where you think, "Here I am, I've arrived at the next step."
In some ways I feel very old. In some ways, I feel as young as I want to feel. But mostly, I feel 34. BUT...it's the 34 that I've come to learn the truth about. Not what I imagined 34 like when I was 16... when I was an outsider looking in at that age bracket.
posted by Steve @ 6:38 PM
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