Heart and Mind

My Shopping Convenience

Have you ever been in a large chain store at closing time? Whether it's Eckerd or K-Mart or Borders, they all say the same thing at closing time...

They announce what the current time is and that the store is "now closed." Then they ask you to bring your "final purchases" up to the registers. And then they say something to the effect of:

"We will re-open tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM for your shopping convenience."

I think that line is so strange. Let me figure this one out...

It's 10:00 PM and I'm buying something—or looking for something—at K-Mart. I'm granted the time it takes to check out before leaving, but I have to head towards the door. If I still need to take care of shopping that requires further browsing and/or trips to other parts of the store, I am out of luck. Instead, I have to leave the shop and come back tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM.

So, I ask: how is that convenient? Seems to me if they were really concerned about "my shopping convenience," they'd let me stay.

They want to cover up the fact that we're being quite inconvenienced by being asked to leave. But I think it brings more attention to the matter than it would if they simply stuck with the facts and didn't try to sell me that they're doing things "for my convenience." Specifically, "We will re-open tomorrow at 8:30." Period. End of story. Nothing more to say.

Hopefully no one will be upset that they're basically saying get out of the store now, but pay first, and if you feel like it, come on back; we'll be open again tomorrow.

What's even funnier is the anouncement of the time of opening. To me, it seems like the implications are that I am so enthused by my K-Mart experience that I want to actually set my alarm clock in the morning, call in sick to work, and be waiting on the sidewalk outside the doors when they open shop at 8:30 AM. "I gotta get back in there ASAP!!!!!" I get your drift. You're open tomorrow, too.

So what does it all mean? Nothing, really, beyond the observation. I know the employees have a right to go home at closing time and I have no problems with being thrown out of the store. Still, the words strike me as funny every time.

posted by Steve @ 1:59 PM