Heart and Mind

"You're Right....Screw You!"

I was driving a week or two back and I was kind of antsy to get where I was going. I was kind of in a hurry.

Now, I still drive responsibly when I'm in a hurry, and I certainly don't ever expect other people alter their driving practices because I am running late. After all, that is my problem, not theirs, correct? Nothing irks me more than the kind of stupidity that you hear out of people's mouthes when they spew sensless, self-centered remarks like, "Fuck this guy in front of me! He's gotta step on it, because I've got shit to do and I'm running late!"

However, I expect people to pay attention to their driving and drive properly whether I am in a hurry or not. The event I will describe would have also happened if I wasn't in a hurry. The fact that I was didn't help.

So, I'm cruising along the road, and the guy in front of me is driving a little strangely. He's certainly moving well, but he's all over the road and such. This is not surprising when you consider what happened next.

We hit a red light, with him in front of me and at the front of the line of cars, and at some point during our wait, he starts making out with his girlfriend. They're playfully leaning into the center of the car, fully embracing each other, and seem to be having a grand old time.

It's a bit of an odd "thymenPLACE" to be doing this, but it's his car, I suppose. Maybe it was his Mom's car, for all I know.

The only problem is that the light turns green and they're still going at it. So, I wait. I wait a couple of seconds—much longer than most people probably would have—hoping that he'll get his act together and remember that he's driving a car and needs to glance up once in a while. He does not. So at that point, I give him the not-so-friendly "friendly honk." You know the one, where you give a quick tap on the horn as if to say, "Hello? Wake up! The light has turned."

So, at this point, he breaks his embrace and looks up at the green light. I never expected what happened next.

After confirming that the light was green and that there is someone waiting behind him, he starts making out with his girlfriend again!

I don't know if he was doing it to play up the fact that he got "caught" needing to "get a room" or if he was just an asshole, but after assessing everything, instead of continuing to drive he starts making out with his girlfriend again!.

At this point, it becomes personal. Before, he was just absent minded. Now he basically was saying, "I'll make my own rules, I don't care that I'm holding up traffic." So I just leaned on it. Full, lean-with-my-body-weight into the horn. And it blares.

After a second or two of blaring, he breaks his embrace and moves forward. As he does, he throws his hands up, as if to say, "OK, OK! Can you cut me a break here? What do you expect of me, man?"

Then, a few seconds down the road, he decided to flip me the middle finger. Now, see, this I don't get. Unless he was really, really stupid—and, of course, I know that's entirely possible—he had to know he was in the wrong.

Why is it that when people know they are wrong they respond by fighting back more? If two people are having an argument and at one point one of them realizes he's probably the one who is wrong, why does that person often shout back louder and more aggressively? Is it simply that that is the best they've got? Doesn't it make them look more foolish than if they were just to concede defeat without getting beligerent?

I guess it does bother me that people will tell me to fuck off when all I did was react to their screw-up.

So, in matters like the road rage described above, I think that knucklehead should have simply kept driving and lived with it. And I can tell you that I live by my own words. Even the best of us screws up once in a while, and when I make a faux pas on the road, I understand that the other driver will be pissed off. Here's my best story of conceding my error:

I was (much to my chagrin) at the mall one weekend evening and it was jam-packed like the malls tend to be on weekends. I came up to a t-intersection in the lot and was at a stop sign. There were lines and lines of cars coming from all directions. It was an all-way stop. So, to make a long story short, I started going forward, but hadn't realized that it wasn't actually my turn quite yet. As I inched forward, a guy at another part of the intersection got upset and started angrily pointing out the stop signs at all the posts. As he did it, I realized I had jumped the gun. So, I hit the brakes, put my hands up as if to acknowledge, "You're right, I see..." and then gave him a different finger gesture than the typical one: a thumbs up. And you know what? The guy was totally cool. He then returned my gesture by giving me the thumbs up back and his road rage was diffused. And I went from being a bad guy to a good guy in his eyes. It was swell.

Alas, I guess you can't always expect that, though. It's often easier to get mad when you're wrong.

posted by Steve @ 8:31 PM