Heart and Mind

It Depends

There's this game that's been around for a while called "Scruples." The players of the game are supposed to answer ethical and moral questions, and that always makes for interesting discussions. So it's fun to read the questions and discuss them. However, any attempt I've ever made to actually play Scruples as a game has turned out to be a bit of a let down. I mean, there are lots of things I like doing, but trying to turn these things into a board game would not be too successful.

In the Scruples game, people are asked these ethical questions. Here's an example of a typical one...

While drinking in an out-of-the-way bar, you see a friend's spouse having a romantic tête-à-tête. Do you mention it to your friend?
Now, basically, the game involves the players having to determine how the other players would respond to this. (I'm oversimplifying things here, but that 's OK...this blog entry is not supposed to be an instruction manual nor a commercial for the game. If you really want to know exactly how it's played, visit the Scruples Game website.)

Anyway, when determining how someone would respond, you have cards to represent three possible answers:

1. Yes
2. No
3. Depends

Now, here is the problem. While I've certainly come across questions that for me are definite "Yes" or definite "No," a disproportionate amount of them are "Depends." Most things in life depend. Even things that seem cut and dry often have exceptions. Things can always "depend."

Using the example above, I may have a knee-jerk "yes" or "no" answer, but faced with that situation in real-life, it really would "depend": Who is this friend? How close of a friend is this person? Close friend? Acquaintance? How comfortable am I with this friend? How would this friend react? Is it better he find out from me, or better he not know? How well do I know the spouse? Do I like the spouse? Is the spouse well-treated by my friend? And what the heck am I doing drinking at a bar, anyway? (I don't like bars much and I am a teetotaler...so that's kind of a joke there. But there is value to it, because perhaps the person answering the question would be drunk and not in a position to judge. Anyway...)

There are certainly situations where I would tell the friend immediately. And there certainly are situations that I would opt to mind my own business. It depends.

What I found when playing the Scruples as a game is that there are too many questions where the answer is "depends." And if I don't feel that way to begin with, someone who has a vested interest (for gain in the game) in having me answer with the "depends" card can almost always suggest a situation where it's possible. Even something as crazy as...

Would you knock your own grandmother down in the street?

...which is an obvious "no," could well become a "yes," if you said, "Would you do so to keep her from getting run over by a bus?" OK, that's a stretch, but it shows how there can be extenuating circumstances to everything... how things can become "depends."

Well, there's a larger point here, which is ultimately the point of this blog entry, and it's not about the game of Scruples. It's about blanket statements of belief and such. Like when people always support Republicans because they think of themselves as Republicans. Or the same thing works with Democrats. Or with religion. Or with any large, societal issue. People like to say, "I'm pro-this" or "I'm pro-that" or "I'm anti-this" or "I'm anti-that." Now if you're talking about chunky peanut butter vs. smooth, that's one thing, but once you get to real-life "big" issues, there usually ISN'T one global answer to what's right or wrong in every situation. Because most things "depend" on the situation. I understand when people say, "I'm usually pro-this," but too many people just follow the label that they give themselves and don't consider individual context. (And sometimes people say they will consider situational things, but they really don't, because they derive a sense of power from their label.) When people just follow one code, it's just mindless, unintelligent, narrow-scoped dogma at work. I suggest people think for themselves, but that seems to be difficult for many. I guess that's why dogma—religious, political, what-have-you—was invented to begin with.

posted by Steve @ 9:45 AM