Heart and Mind

"Your Shoe's Untied"

I really don't like it when people tell me that my shoe is untied.

I know they mean well. They say, "Your shoe's untied," because they don't want to see me trip on the laces. It's a nice gesture. Still, I don't really like it.

That's because I almost always already know that my shoe is untied when it is. In fact, I may be able to say without hyperbole that no one has ever, in my adulthood, informed me of an untied shoe lace when I didn't already know about it.

A big, flopping shoe lace is really quite obvious to the wearer, isn't it?

While I appreciate people not wanting to see me trip and fall, the fact of the matter is that I'm usually busy doing something when I'm not tending to an untied lace, and that's why I haven't gotten around to bending over and tying it. But I always do. usually within a minute or so.

I guess it makes me feel stupid, like people assume I wouldn't know that my lace is untied.

I have other little things like this, too. Like sneezing. I enjoy a good sneeze now and then, but I don't like doing it around co-workers and stuff, because then there is that awkward moment where they feel the need to "God Bless Me" and, if they miss it, it's like, we're all waiting. And then I have to thank them for their courtesy, which I do willingly, but it gets awkward if I sneeze multiple times in a row. Anything after two sneezes starts to become an issue.

My favorite (sarcasm, here), though, is when you do an exhale of sorts and people can't tell whether you just coughed or sneezed. Sometimes you'll cough and they'll say, "God Bless You," to which you have to either roll with it ("Thank You") or correct them ("That was a cough.") What's more awkward, though, is when they recognize themselves that they might have erred and start questioning it. They'll usually say something like, "God Bless You! Wait, was that a sneeze or a cough? If it was a sneeze, God Bless You." I guess if it was a cough, you don't get blessings.

posted by Steve @ 10:33 PM