Heart and Mind

Finishing the Book

I've noticed something quite peculiar. Whenever I'm reading a book, even if I'm enjoying it, I seem to have my mind set on finishing it. I'm always looking towards the end as a goal: "Only 120 pages to go.... How quickly can I finish this?"

This makes little sense to me, because if I'm enjoying the book, I should want it to last. When I'm watching a good television program, I have a sense of disappointment when it's over. I don't want it to end. But with books, even when I've just started them, I seem to be wishing they were finished.

Perhaps it's because there is more of a sense of accomplishment in completing a book read. Or perhaps it's because I have had many books throughout the years that I started but never actually finished. Perhaps it's because I am often reading multiple books at one time and want to simplify. Or perhaps it's because I became conditioned to think this way because of all the reading assignments we had—either in the form of text-book chapters, novels, or otherwise—as students growing up. The funny thing is that although I love to read now, I found the concept of reading assignments in school horrible and, in hindsight, I still think they were a rotten proposition. In short, I only enjoy reading if I read what *I* want to read, not what some school curriculum tells me I should read. In other words, I say now that "I love to read," but that's only because I'm the one who is picking out what I am reading!

Personally, I only read non-fiction. I don't read any fiction whatsoever. I haven't read a fiction book since my last scheduled college assignment (and even that I may not have read!). That "I only read non-fiction" line might sound pretentious to some people, but it's truly not, in my case, because, trust me, plenty of what I read is not at all high-brow. It's just not fiction. To sum it up simply, I like to read about stuff that interests me. If I like something, I'd probably like to read a book about it, too.

But to get back to the question of why I am always thinking about finishing books instead of focusing more on the enjoyment of the reading-journey itself, while the suggestions above are nice theories, I actually think the reason is rather simple. Because I am very busy, and because I have numerous other hobbies I like to indulge in the rare spare time I do have, I don't get to read nearly as often as I'd like to. So I always have a pile of books on my "to read soon" shelf, waiting in the queue. So I'm really looking forward to finishing the current book so that I can start the next book, which I am greatly anticipating.

But that's where things get strange, because once I do start that next book, the chances are good that I will soon start considering that one the one that I need to finish so I can start the one in line after that.

It makes me think that the anticipation of the read is stronger than the act of reading itself, and that's bizarre.

posted by Steve @ 9:45 PM