Heart and Mind

How to Use an Answering Machine

I should post a lot to try to make up for my disgusting display of inactivity in May and early June, so even though I just posted a lengthy blog entry on voice mail and answering machines, I should add this quicky thought, since it's on a related subject.

If you read the blog before this one, you'd know that in first grade, I was in some serious need of coaching when it came to dealing with my first answering machine message-leaving experience. These days, people pretty much know how answering machines and voice mail work, and we've known for about 20 years, to be sure. That's why I find it quite funny that so many people still leave the same stock, outgoing message with the detailed instruction that was a necessity 30 years ago. You know exactly what the phrasing is:

"...leave your name, number, and a brief message."

Yeah, no kidding! "You mean I should identify myself?" Ironically, you don't even actually have to do that anymore for the reasons outlined in the previous post, but the point is...yes, we know that our voice will be recorded and we know what kind of information is needed, depending on the given situation and the nature of the call.

The "brief" phrasing cracks me up, too. It's always a "brief" message. Damn, just say, "Leave a message." If the message isn't brief enough, then the machine/system will cut the person off and they'll have to either call back or deal with it. I believe that most people, with some exception, who request "brief" messages would have no problem with a lengthy message; rather, they just are repeating what they've heard other people say for years. They need to knock that stuff off and think for themselves.

I will say this much: people have stopped giving the "well duh" advice that instructs the caller to wait until "after the sound of the beep"to leave the message. But that hung around about 15 years longer the necessary before people stopped saying it.


And remember how people always used to say, "We can't get to the phone right now" on their home answering machines because they feared that stating, "We're not home," which was the case 99% of the time when people "couldn't get to the phone" in the 1980s, would be like an open invitation for burglars to break into the house. To this I ask, couldn't these supposed phone-scanning burglars (who are apparently randomly looking up numbers and addresses in the phone book to pre-screen the good targets) also infer that you are not home irrespective of whether you even had an answering machine? The 63 rings without anyone picking up used to be a pretty good sign.

I guess it's a no-win situation, because there really isn't too much you can say on your outgoing message (barring business lines, where you might actually have to inform people of where to go for information or whether you are even in the office). My home message is short and sweet: You've reached my phone number (just so people know they dial correctly), and please leave a message. My cell phone identifies me by first name and thanks the person for calling, and then gives the ol' "leave a message and I'll get back to you" stock line--but at least I don't say to make it "brief" or to "leave your name and number."

posted by Steve @ 10:06 PM