Heart and Mind

Why 31 was Worse than 30

This is another blog entry that initially was an email response. A friend was lamenting to me about her upcoming 30th birthday. You know how people freak out about getting older, particularly when they hit the round number milestones like 30? I said to her, "Nah, it's not so bad. Actually, I thought 31 was much weirder. 30 was good." That was my experience, and in response to my remark, she asked, "Why 31?" Good question, and I've got a good answer. Here's what I told her about my 30th and 31st birthday experiences:

Turning 30 was more anticipated. It was expected. I had been thinking about how close I am to turning 30 for several years prior to doing so.

It started saying, "I'm practically 30 years old" from the time I was 28. I did it so much that I forgot what age I really was. When I wasn't rounding up and intended to indicate my actual age, I often made comments like, "For crissakes, I'm 29 years old here!" And my wife used to say, "Um...no, you're 28 years old."

So, when I turned 28, I started looking ahead to the big 3-0 and basically started thinking of myself as someone who was "practically 30." By the time 30 did get here, I had gotten used to it and was pretty much comfortable with it.

Being 30, it seemed, was like being in your 20s, but just a tad more sophisticated. Kind of like 1990 really was more like the 1980s, even though it actually was the 1990s. The "zero" year of anything gets a lot of hype as being the new era, but it really is usually more like the old one. People think of the decade of the 1990s as one thing and they have certain associations defining what "the nineties" means—but go look at a 1990 yearbook: high-hair galore. It looks more like 1987 than it looks like 1994.

So, 30 was all right, and almost celebratory. It's a milestone, whether you like it or not, and that takes some of the edge off of it.

But then 31 comes and no one really cares any more. Not even you, because it's just another birthday. And that, I found, is when the true realization hits that you don't go back nor do you even get to stay 30. You just become this older version of what 30 represented. There's more. And each year...31, 32, 33...just keeps piling on and before you know it, you're starting to think about how fast your 30s are going by.

I suspect it will be similar for all future decades.

posted by Steve @ 2:15 PM