Heart and Mind

Me in Women's Apparel & Musings on Brady Robes

So, the other day I was doing some blogging in my bathrobe.

Yeah, I own a robe.

Robes for guys are not very cool, are they? I seem to recall I used to rib one of my housemates in college for this robe he used to wear around the place. But I've got one now, and here's how it happened.

My wife bought it for me. You see, back when it was just the two of us & cats, we used to let the heat drop down to 62 degrees at night and during other "off peak" hours of the day. We did have it kick on in the morning, but even then it was usually only to a chilly 66. Well, sometimes I'd get out of bed and the house would be like a low-grade ice-box, so I'd reach for whatever apparel I could find nearby. More often than not, I grabbed my wife's robe.

Yeah, that's right, I said it. I've worn women's robes. But she's got a pretty basic robe—it's not all frilly or flowery or anything. It's almost a uni-sex robe, so I could wear it and not feel too weird about it. Besides, warmth was the goal and if I'm only walking around my house, what they hell would I care what I look like? You should see what I walk outside in to bring out the garbage, and that's where the public can see me! Describe it? Well, maybe I'd be wearing brown dress shoes with no socks, a pair of Three's Company-style early 80s short shorts that strangely are still floating around the house, and maybe a flannel shirt. That could happen on a good day. If it's a dusky evening with low-level neighbor visibility, sometimes I don't even put on pants. Underwear does fine.

So, I'd wrap myself in a shower curtain if kept me warm while I'm walking around the place.

Well, anyway, one day—after too many times where she was needing her robe but I was in it—she said to me, "You know, I can buy you your own bathrobe if you want..."

I told her not to and that I didn't want a robe. I didn't like them and I didn't want one. She shouldn't waste her money. For my purposes, hers did fine.

Well, she ignored my feedback and on one gift giving occasion—I think it was Christmas—she got me this nice robe. And it was a robe designed for males, too! It's plaid.

So now, when I get up and need that little extra bit of warmth and carting around the place half-dressed won't work, I've got my own robe to get me from the period of time between getting up and getting dressed. It's not an everyday thing, but I enjoy the robe as needed.

But as I sat there blogging away, I was thinking about how dreadfully uncool I probably looked in my bathrobe.

I mean, Hugh Hefner wears a robe, and I guess people think he's cool. But you know who I think of when I'm wearing robes? The Brady Boys (and Mike Brady, too). Those dudes always had to put on their bathrobes when they wandered around at night. Oh, and they always wore pajamas, too. I know we're talking about corny TV circa 1969-1974, but it's just so typically "Brady Americana" how they'd sleep in these pajamas. And when they got up to investigate a noise or get water or something, they'd pop on the bathrobes. As if the long pajamas didn't cover them enough for a) proper warmth and b) proper skin coverage for television standards back in those days. It was so lame. (But, admittedly, delightfully so, as lame stuff like that is a huge part of why I love the Brady Bunch so much.)

In real life, Gregg Brady would have been sleeping in a pair of old whitey-tighties with worn out elastic. And when Mike Brady had to tend to a screaming kid, he'd bolt out of that bed half-naked and run down the hall as is.

As late as 1988, the Bradys were still displaying their nighttime dress code follies, and they took it to new heights when Pete was seen wearing something akin to a friekin' dress in A Very Brady Christmas. You may think I'm crazy for discussing this, but next December, I want you to watch an airing of A Very Brady Christmas (a made for TV movie that is so amazingly horrendous that it is an absolutely brilliant 'must see over and over again' flick) and I defy you not to think of me and this blog when you see Peter Brady wearing his "man nightgown."

I may have worn my wife's robe, but I probably came off as a manly-man tough guy in that when compared to Pete Brady in his man-gown.

posted by Steve @ 5:20 PM