What Did They Call Walrus Man's Brother?
I was chatting with a friend. We were talking about Star War's names. My friend is something of a Star Wars expert, which is not something people usually like to advertise. Not because they shouldn't. They should. And they know they should, but the non-believers don't "get" what it's about. They don't know that being a "Space Nerd" is frieken' awesome. So, to protect the innocent, I won't identify this individual by name. We'll make up a name. We'll call him, "Rich."Anyway, I had a question for Rich. I always suspected that the greedy, green bastard with the lousy shot in the cantina was named, quite simplistically. But I wanted to confirm my suspicions. See, his name is Greedo. By my logic, he could have just as easily been named, "Greeno."
"Was Greedo," I asked Rich, "named in a bush-league, first-grade sort of way, in that, 'He's greedy. Let's call him Greedo.' "
"Oh, no doubt," he confirmed. "It's no different than the guy with a hammer-shaped head being named Hammerhead."
And I think that's just plain wonderful. One of the biggest movies in history, using these cheesy names. However, the aforementioned "Hammerhead" and his other pals at the cantina, such as "Snaggletooth" and "Walrus Man," may have been descriptively named, but they were named by a toy company (Kenner) for action figure sales, a world that is unabashedly about pushing product with minimal concern for artistic integrity. Greedo was named in the script though.
Rich explained that the film is filled with names like that.
"It's no different than the guy with a hammer-shaped head being named Hammerhead. Or the lone pilot type being named Solo. Or the farmboy who longs to travel the stars being named Skywalker. Or the various Sith characters being named after crimes or atrocities: Vader (invader), Maul, Sidious (insidious), Grievous, Bane, and so forth."
But what I've always wondered is this:
What did they call Walrus Man's brother?
The guy looks just like him! Everyone else in his race does, too. The guy goes to a party with nothing but people who look like him and he must be like, "Hi, Eddie! I don't believe we've met. My name is Jack, and this is my brother, Walrus Man."I can also picture Walrus Man's mom watching his egg hatch and saying, "Oh, what a beautiful baby! He looks just like everyone else we know! You know, like a Walrus. Lets name him Walrus Man!" Even though he's a baby.
Indeed, every member of the race should have the same name.
It actually seems kind of racist, in a way. Maybe that's why Walrus Man, himself, is so intolerant to others.
And with that, I'm gone, like Walrus Man's arm after a rough night hassling the locals.
posted by Steve @ 11:22 AM
4 Comments:
Plus, there'a an important question to ask here: Are there walruses or men on his homeworld, in addition to their own species? Because if not, where'd the get the idea to name themselves after waruses...or men? There may be two species on an alien planet that we resemble a cross between. Let's call them crudas and snops. But since we've never visited that planet, we'd look pretty ridiculous if all of us decided to name our children Cruda-Snop. The first Walrus-Men, upon naming their chidlren Walrus-Man, must have been asked, "What do you mean? What the hell's a walrus? And what the hell's a man?"
--"Rich"
"Rich,"
Laughing out Loud. Literally.
"What the hell's a walrus?"
I'm crying here.
Of course, the REALLY geeky answer is that his name is Ponda Baba, that his species is called Aqualish, and that "Walrus Man" is a racial slur used by non-Aqualish.
But that begs a couple of questions as well:
1) Again, in the "What the hell's a walrus?" category, why would people use a racial slur referencing a creature they've never seen before? If there are, in fact, no walruses in the Star Wars universe--and there's never been any evidence that there are, as far as I know, outside of the name Walrus Man--then how would anyone know to use that word as a racial slur? And how would anyone, including the Aqualish, know what it meant? "Dude, did you just call me Walrus Man? Seriously? Again, I ask you, what the hell's a walrus?"
2) Does Kenner realize it gave the action figure a retroactively racist name? It's a good thing Lando Calrissian had a name before Kenner's marketing department made a figure for him. I'd hate to think what HIS figure would have been called otherwise.
First off, this conversation reminds me of the Robot Chicken Sketch with Emperor Palatine talking on the phone with Darth Vader, who just escaped the first Death Star blowing up...
"Wait, wait, what?? They blew it up? Who are THEY?? What? What the hell is an aluminum falcon??"
Which actually kinda answers the question this blog posts... apparently there are falcons in the Star Wars universe, so there must be other animals as well, including walruses. Problem solved!
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